“I’m Gonna Party Like It’s 1999”

PrinceWow!  Prince has passed on!  Crazy… I, for some reason have been thinking about “Party Like It’s 1999” , by Prince…. mmm.  My 2nd husband and I dancing at a nightclub on New Years Eve 1999.  Dancing to that beautiful song.

So, we danced and then we divorced.  Yes, I have my hurt.  Yes, I ‘claim’ I was STUNNED.  Yet, deep, deep within I know that I knew.  That I foresaw a union that could never last….forever.  Yet, It had to happen.  She had to reach out her hand… palm side up, and fan her fingers out and state with full conviction “I am Yours.. I will follow as long as you Feel me and respect my opinions… my thoughts.. considerations… possible outcomes…. Yes, I open myself to you.

We have been divorced for over 16 years and I have ever so barely even thought of him.  Yet, in the past week or 3 I have been thinking about that song.  That night.  I am almost certain I posted ‘That Song’ on Facebook very recently.  And now… today, the news.

So, a sad ‘Synchronicity’.  That is… ‘Pay Attention this needs to be released.  You Cannot move forward in ANY relationships with a man until you rid yourself.. your soul… your heart of that pain.  Do NOT ‘assume’ this will continue.. to always happen.  You do not need to think, believe that.  PUKE that shit OUT”

So, tonight, I will release.. that hurt, that pain.  I will remove that arrow so deeply embedded within my soul… piercing my heart.  My heart ‘almost’ accepted that future.  Whew…. thank God it did not or I could not escape my deep lonely longing..

And that is all I have to say …. for now.


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